pronoun language

As someone who has studied languages for several years, I often reflect on language. It is powerful. It can turn abortions into “terminations” and it can ease the consciences of Nazis who “liquidated” the undesirables. Language has hurt more people than sticks and stones, and now, as we know, it is being lauded about for personal preferences in the use of pronouns. Some policies in organizations now push the agendas that allow people to choose their own pronouns regardless of biological sex. I know it is a delicate issue. Nevertheless, it needs to be talked about.
 
This is a difficult area to navigate, but here are some pointers for all Catholics using language in any context. We are to speak the truth and bring people to the truth in love. In difficult circumstances, apologists recommend using a person’s name (or an endearing nickname) instead of pronouns when that person insists on using other pronouns, even though it is annoying. Remember that all are made in the image of God, and worthy of respect and love, but this does not give anyone license to control language. It is always helpful to see the logic in something by bringing it to the extreme. If someone had the right to demand to be called, “great prince,” or “piece of garbage,” or some obscene word as a pronoun, we would rightly recoil: people do not have the right to demand to be called such things which do not reflect who and what they are, for language reflects reality. Affirming what someone incorrectly thinks of themselves violates charity. Both flexibility and boundaries are necessary for unconditional love.
 
To those in these difficult situations, pray for wisdom and discernment especially if the pronoun situation involves someone in your family. Such situations are very delicate, and often it can probably feel like the choice of pronouns is the decision between losing a relationship forever and obeying one’s conscience and loyalty to God. The duty to the truth, however, remains the same. We cannot love others without the truth, and we cannot give truth without love. Use wisdom and love, and certainly rely upon the Holy Spirit who is our advocate.
 
For those who want a more detailed pastoral treatment of this topic, I recommend Archbishop Paul Coakley’s pastoral letter, “On the Unity of the Body and Soul: Accompanying Those Experiencing Gender Dysphoria."